Seek to bring about reconciliation
How can we help people reconcile? Philemon 1:20-21 (NIV) “I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask."
Paul now makes subtle plea towards Philemon’s better nature. How does he do this? By expressing his confidence in Philemon’s love and faith in Christ that would motivate him to do the right thing with Onesimus. Basically Paul is saying: Philemon, you are a man of great faith in Christ and a man who has loved the saints. How refreshing it is for all the saints! Now continue to do so with Onesimus! And refresh my heart!
As we seek to bring about reconciliation, it is important to help the various parties realise that they are better than the conflicts that they find themselves in. Conflicts should not define how low we get. We should and can rise above the conflicts. Reconciliation can define how gracious we are, how high we can rise.