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Writer's pictureWilson Lim

Relationship Commandments: The Epicentre Of All Relationships


One day, my friend's daughter, Britney, came up to her and said, "Mom, I know that Jesus lives inside my heart. But how do I tell him I love him? Do you think if I write 'I love you' on a piece of paper and eat it, he'll get the note?" [Donna Hutchinson, Today's Christian Woman]

 

Do we love Jesus enough to eat a piece of paper?  How much do we love God?  How do we know?  How important is our relationship with God?  Today we will address some of these questions through this passage in Exodus 20:1-11

 

Most people approach the 10 commandments and the rest of the Mosaic Laws as exactly that – commandments.  Commandments to be obeyed, rules to be followed.  Like traffic laws. But when Jesus came, he shocked everybody by giving it a totally different perspective. Matthew 22:35-40 (NIV) 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.  39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

 

What are the two greatest commandments about?  It is about loving God and loving others. Instead of rules and regulations, Jesus lifted it to a higher level. Showing it is about the quality of our relationship with God and the quality of our relationship with others.

 

In our 2-part series on Relationships Commandments, we will look at the first part of the 10 commandments, the first 4 commandments and begin to understand its implications in our relationships.  This first article will focus on The Epicentre of All Relationships. 

 

GOD SHOULD BE CENTRAL TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS

 

Exodus 20:1–2 (NIV) And God spoke all these words: 2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”

 

Before God gave the first commandment, He reminded the Israelites that He is the “Lord your God”. Not just God, but your God.  A personal God.  It reveals God seeks to have a relationship with us.  God invites us to relate with Him.  It was God who took the initiative to bring us into a commitment with Him.

 

Consider how significant our relationship with God should be.  What did Jesus say in Matthew 22:37-38?  Loving God was the first, the greatest, the most important relationship we could ever have!  Loving God captures the essence behind the first 4 commandments. In fact, if we truly love God, we will fulfil the first 4 commandments!


The Greatest first commandment without the second is incomplete.  The second without the first loses its bearings.

 

When we examine Matthew 22:34-40 do you realise that the expert of the law asked for the greatest commandment? Yet Jesus gave also the second greatest commandment.  When He was not asked for it?  Why?  Because both are inter-related.  The Greatest first commandment without the second is incomplete.  The second without the first loses its bearings.

 

For the way we relate with God affects the way we relate with others.  The quality of our relationship with God determines the quality of our relationship with others.  Why?  It is like a compass of our lives.  A compass must be calibrated so that it points to true north.  Once that is accurate, the rest of the directions on the compass will be accurate.  But if a compass does not get its true north correct, every other direction will be misaligned.


Our relationship with God is the epicentre of all our relationships. The shockwaves from our relationship with God impacts our relationships with others.

 

Get your vertical relationship with God right, and you begin to get horizontal relationships around you into proper perspective.  That is why the next greatest commandment is about relationships, relationships with others.  The second greatest commandment cannot come before the greatest.  That would put it the wrong way around. Hence, our relationship with God is the epicentre of all our relationships. It is central, it is the focal point.  Just like an earthquake has an epicentre, so all our relationships has an epicentre.  The shockwaves from our relationship with God impacts our relationships with others.

 

Saul’s deteriorating relationship with God led to deteriorating relationship with others, notably with David and even his own son Jonathan. Those that have no relationship with God, will find all their relationships distorted.  Those who have minimal relationship with God will find minimal improvements in their relationships.

 

When we truly experience God’s mercy upon our lives and understand its significance, it will motivate us to show mercy to others – God’s way. Luke 6:36 (NIV) Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.  We are enabled to be merciful because we experience God’s mercy to us.

 

On the evening of April 25, 1958, a young Korean exchange student in the University of Pennsylvania, left his flat and went to post a letter to his parents. He stepped into the path of eleven leather-jacketed teenage boys. Without a word they attacked him, beating him with a blackjack, a lead pipe and with their shoes and fists. Later, police found him dead in the gutter. All Philadelphia cried out for vengeance. The district attorney secured legal authority to try the boys as adults so that those found guilty could be given the death penalty. Then a letter arrived from Korea. It was signed by the parents and by twenty other relatives of the murdered boy.

 

 "Our family has met together and we have decided to petition that the most generous treatment possible within the laws of your government be given to those who have committed this criminal action. In order to give evidence of our sincere hope contained in this petition, we have decided to save money to start a fund to be used for the religious, educational, vocational, and social guidance of the boys when they are released. We have dared to express our hope with a spirit received from the gospel of our Savior Jesus Christ who died for our sins." [A. Leonard Griffith, Beneath the Cross of Jesus.]

 

We learn to love others because of our relationship with the God of love. Having experienced true love, we begin to genuinely love others. 1 John 4:7-8 (NIV) 7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 

 

Our relationship with God is central to all our relationships. Get the vertical right and eventually the horizontal will be right! The question is this: what are we doing about it? 

 

WE SHOULD PRIORITISE GOD AS CENTRAL

 

Exodus 20:3–6 (NIV) 3 “You shall have no other gods before me. 4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

 

In what ways is God to be central in our relationships?  The commandments help us understand what is required.

 

Love God foremost (v6) “…of those who love me…”

 

In Matthew 22:37, Jesus quoted from Deuteronomy 6:5 (NIV) Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 

 

It means to love God with all that we are.  Every fibre of our being. Even when the hair drops off our head, it should cry out, “I love God!” That is loving God foremost!  Only by loving God foremost can He be placed in the centre of our lives. If we love anything more, then that is at the centre of our lives.  It could be love for fame, wealth, power, or even for ourselves. Let’s beware.

 

Apostle Paul’s love for God was so great that he wanted to go all the way in following Christ. Philippians 3:10 (NIV) I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 


When we love God foremost, it would be obvious in most things we do.

 

French illustrator/painter Gustave Dore (1832-1883), one of the patron saints of the DreamWorks team, was handed a painting of Jesus just finished by one of his students. Asked for his critique, Dore studied it, his mind searching for the right words. At last he handed it back to the student. "If you loved him more," he said, "you would have painted him better." When we love God foremost, it would be obvious in most things we do.

 

Before I married Lai Ling, I told her that she can only be the second greatest love of my life.  For God will be my greatest love. My life and ministry is an outworking of my love for God! I wasn’t always like this – I too had my struggles to love God foremost. But as I gradually gave my heart over to Him and as I experienced more of Him, I grew to love God more and more!

 

You too can journey to the point where God is your foremost beloved! You must see the importance and the urgency.  Cry out to God and He will help you!

 

No other competition (v3) “You shall have no other gods before me.”


God is number one and the only one.

 

What is the first commandment saying?  You shall have no other gods before me. Is that referring to some linear sequence of priority? Does that mean God is first then we can have some other gods second, or third?  In the NIV footnote is says “besides”. Exodus 20:23 (NIV) “Do not make any gods to be alongside me...”  We are not to have any other god besides or alongside Jehovah!  No second or third!  God is number one and the only one.  Nothing else!


Anything we worship is an idol.  Anything we cannot let go of is an idol!

 

God warned the Israelites in v4-5a that we are not to make idols of any kind nor to worship them.  What does this mean to us today?  It means we are not to let anything in our life to take on a status of a god or idol in our life. Even if it is second to God. Is our spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend an idol in our lives?  Is our job or accomplishments an idol in our lives?  Are our dreams or desires an idol? Anything we worship is an idol.  Anything we cannot let go of is an idol!

 

I have determined that I will not allow anything to become an idol in my life.  I have to be ruthless with myself so as not to allow such thing to take root. Jesus highlighted this principle when He taught in Luke 16:13 (NIV) “No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” By money Jesus was referring to greed.

 

Why can’t we love God and be greedy at the same time?  Or even God first and have greed second?  Just a little greed!?  Because both are in opposition.  As long as we nurture greed, it will eventually seek to dethrone God from our lives.  There will be continual conflict! Yet sometimes, we go to God and bargain for a little idol in our life.  God, I will love and serve you IF you would let me marry this person, or have this job or win lottery or keep this hobby!

 

When you marry a girl, do you tell her that you love her the most and that there is another girl you love too, just not as much as her? I love Lai Ling and no other woman. The only 3 other women in my life that I love are my mom, my sister and my daughter.

 

Is there anything competing for your affection against God?  V5 declares that God is a “jealous God”.  It is not a jealousy in the sense of envy or because God feels threaten.  God is jealous to protect us from idolatry that will destroy us. Let God be central in our hearts. Love Him with all our heart.

 

TREAT GOD AS CENTRAL

 

Exodus 20:7–11 (NIV) 7 “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. 8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

 

When we put God in the centre of our lives, in the centre of our relationships – it becomes evident in a number of key areas by our actions and attitudes. 

 

By honouring God (v7) “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God…”

 

The third commandment commands that God’s name must never be used in vain, as a swear word! It is not to be treated with disrespect.  It is meant to convey that God’s name should be honoured, for this honours God.

 

When we truly put God in the centre of our lives, we will honour God in everything we do.  Be careful not to merely honour God on the outside while our hearts are not sincere.  Like when we open up a chocolate wrapping to find out it is not as the cover states?  Consider this: Do we seek to give Him glory or do we take it for ourselves?  Lucifer started to flirt with taking glory due to God and ended up wanting it all for himself. 

 

When we serve God, especially in up front ministry – give the glory to God where it is due. Jesus said in John 7:18 (NIV) He who speaks on his own does so to gain honor for himself, but he who works for the honor of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him.

 

Billy Graham was a man who kept himself humble and gave glory to God in everything he did.  He honoured God by being faithful to God’s call upon his life.  He did not hype up his ministry.  He did not take advantage for personal gain.  His concern was God’s purposes.  That honours God. And God used him mightily.  As a preacher I spend many hours to prepare the best sermon I reasonably can.  Yet many times, I feel inadequately prepared.  But God comes and lifts the whole standard and impact of the sermon. I know when God helps me. So I honour God by giving thanks to God. I must not take the glory!


When our focus is to honour God, it will keep us on the right track. 

 

When our focus is to honour God, it will keep us on the right track.  Let us choose to honour God in everything we do!

 

By keeping His commands (v8-11) “Remember the Sabbath by keeping it holy.”

 

The fourth commandment basically instructs us to obey God’s commands about the Sabbath. We will not explain the whole purpose of Sabbath and its implications here.  Do refer to my articles expounding the proper significance of Sabbath and address some errors in understanding it [Refuting Christan Sabbath Teachings Parts 1 and 2].  The main principle is to keep God’s Word.  Jesus said in John 14:15 (NIV) “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” Jesus made it clear that if we truly love God, we will obey Him.

 

Our obedience is a measure of our love for God. It is an outcome of a conscious decision because we trust Him enough and care enough about His desires to want to carry it out.  Often when someone dies, the family will try their best to carry out the deceased’s last instructions.  Why?  Because of their love for the deceased.  Further, the more we relate with God, the more confident we are in obeying Him even in the most challenging circumstances. Because we trust Him more! By the grace of God, we can keep His Word!

 

CONCLUSION

 

The Koh-i-noor diamond is among the most spectacular in the world. Queen Victoria received it as a gift from a maharajah when he was a lad. Later as a grown man this maharajah visited Queen Victoria again. He requested that the stone be brought from the Tower of London to Buckingham Palace. The maharajah took the diamond and, kneeling before the Queen, gave it back to her, saying, "Your Majesty, I gave this jewel when I was a child, too young to know what I was doing. I want to give it to you again in the fullness of my strength, with all of my heart and affection, and gratitude, now and forever, fully realizing all that I do."

 

As we come to a deeper understanding of what it means to love God, let us go to Him and seek to grow deeper in that love.  Ask God to give us power to love Him with all our heart!  And if we truly love God, we will keep the principles embodied by the first 4 commandments. We will not have any other gods or idols before God.  We would not worship any other thing.  We would give honour to God.  We will keep God’s Word.

 

Copyright©️2024 by Wilson Lim. All rights reserved. Materials are free to be distributed in whole or part as long as proper acknowledgement is given to the author and not sold for profit.

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